


if i don't show you (how proud i am)

by MementoMemoriam



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Family Dynamics, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mild Hurt/Comfort, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Past Character Death, Resurrected Wilbur Soot, Sad Wilbur Soot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 20:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30077793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MementoMemoriam/pseuds/MementoMemoriam
Summary: “You are my son. You have always been my son. My amazing son. I never cared for L’manburg, I cared for you. I entered that button room not to stop you from destroying some property but from destroying yourself, and I failed. I’m sorry, Wilbur. I killed you because I thought it was what you wanted, but even still it was the biggest mistake of my life. I understand if you are angry with me. I fully deserve it, but I want you to know how much I love you. There is nothing you can do in this entire world to change that fact.”“You’re my son!” Phil screams at Wilbur across the button room. His fingers curl tighter into the hilt of the sword. “There is nothing you could do that could make me…” his voice falls short as he fully grasps the situation at hand. His son has asked him to kill him.-Or: Wilbur is resurrected, and history repeats itself.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson
Kudos: 37





	if i don't show you (how proud i am)

**Author's Note:**

> I heavily debated making this a happy ending about halfway through but I decided to make myself and everyone reading this suffer. I'll probably write a rewrite where things go well, but until then... Enjoy!

“What are you doing?”

The words send a chill down Phil’s spine. He doesn’t want to turn around. He can’t turn around. Otherwise, he’d have to acknowledge the fact that his past has come back to haunt him. The words are spoken with the same cold tone which once left his own lips on that awful day many months ago. 

Instead of facing it, Phil turns his focus to the pile of papers that lay upon the syndicate table like the coward he is. Maybe if he ignores the voice, it will vanish and then he won’t have to face this part of him that he despises. The part of him that keeps him awake at night in a storm of guilt and grief. He shouldn’t have to face it. Hasn’t the world tormented him enough? Yet, that doesn’t stop the voice from continuing its assault.

“I said: ‘What are you doing?’ Did the blast really ruin your hearing that much?” He hears the sound of a sword unsheathing as the voice steps closer, and that is what moves Phil to turn around. He is met with the face of his son and a blade pointed directly at his chest. Normally, Phil would have instantly drawn his sword at the first sign of danger, but the sight of his son, alive, standing in front of him makes him hesitate. 

The sight of Wilbur alive and mostly well is all Phil has wanted since that dreaded day in the button room. He spent hours agonizing over ancient texts looking for some way, any way, in which his son could return to him. In his hopeless state, Phil even prayed to any gods he knew to bless him with the chance to do it over again- to let himself be sacrificed for Wilbur’s sake. Now, here Wilbur stands fulfilling that wish and Phil can only stare blankly.

Unsatisfied with the lack of response from his father, Wilbur continues, “So shocked to see me alive, old man? Since you were too much of a coward to, Dream went ahead and revived me. I came back from the dead, Dad, aren’t you proud of me?” he scoffs “Yeah, I know you never were.”

_ “Come on, Wil! I promise you’ll be fine! Just jump in. I’ll be right here to catch you!” Phil encouraged as Wilbur stood on the edge of the glass. It was the first time he had brought his son to Endlantis, but the boy immediately hugged the glass upon seeing the water.  _

_ While Wil knew how to swim, he had always been terrified at the prospect of drowning. Despite his father’s insistence that the conduits which lay in the sunken land would allow him to breathe underwater, Wilbur had stayed glued to the edge of the glass. _

_ “It’s okay to be afraid, Wil, but just know that I would never let anything bad happen to you, okay? Just jump in, and Dadza will be here to protect you okay?” _

_ Wilbur hesitantly nodded before slowly plunging into the water below. Phil was immediately at his side checking to make sure the conduit was working properly. _

_ “Are you okay?” Wilbur hummed affirmation “I know it was scary, but I’m proud of you for doing it anyway!” he patted Wil’s shoulder before he turned to begin swimming around the land.  _

_ He was stopped, however, by Wilbur’s small voice asking “Was it scary for you? Moving on to this land?” Phil stopped. He hadn’t talked much with his son about his last death in his past world. Phil had Wilbur after so the topic was never broached, but it seemed his son was curious about his father’s past failures. _

_ “It was. I was very scared at moving on because I thought it meant I would have to face the fact that I failed.” Phil slowly turned back to face his son and brought the smallest smile to his face. “However, with that death, I learned probably the most important lesson one can learn. If we do it right, our mistakes can make way for our flourishment. I mean, without dying, I wouldn’t have ever been able to have you, my amazing son...”  _

_ Wilbur embarrassed by the confession grumbles out an embarrassed, “Dad…” before Phil ruffles his mop of brown hair. _

_ “I know. I know. Come on, though, I still have to show you Endlantis...” _

“What are you doing, Wilbur?” Phil sadly meets his son’s eyes for the first time. They are the same brown eyes, but the fire which used to glow within them has burned out leaving nothing but cold bitter ash. 

“I’m just helping out my old pal Dream. I may never have been able to finish my own, but if I can help him finish his unfinished symphony in exchange for my revival, I’m not going to refuse. I’m not completely heartless despite what you may think.”

Phil’s gaze hardens. Dream. It was always Dream. He may have aided Phil and Techno during their final plot to destroy L’manburg, but Phil’s feelings are far from amicable when it comes to the bastard. Phil still hasn’t forgiven the man for the hand he played in Wilbur’s downfall-encouraging his behaviour, and even supplying Wilbur with the TNT necessary to follow through on his destruction plan. 

Wilbur steps closer to his father before continuing, “Which brings me to you! See, Dream has a very interesting plan on how to unite the server once and for all. However, there seem to be a couple of liabilities to said plan that need to be exterminated before he can continue. Usually, he would want to finish the job, but given the special circumstances, Dream is allowing me to do this one myself.”

Before he can step any closer, Phil snaps out of his haze and grabs Wilbur’s wrist. “Wilbur. Listen to me. I don’t care what revenge you seek against me. You cannot work with Dream.” He sadly gazes at the sword in his son’s hand. “I understand your anger with me, but don’t let that blind you. You are better than this, Wilbur.”

“You don’t understand, Phil!” he wrenches his wrist from Phil’s grasp, “You never did! I am not ‘better than this.’ This is who I’ve always been. I am the villain, the bad guy in the history books. This is exactly what I am meant to do.”

With that, Wilbur raises his sword, and Phil is forced to draw his own to prevent the blade from reaching its mark. He’s not going to make the same mistake again, he’ll just have to defend himself until he can get through to Wilbur. 

“Oh, so you do want to fight? Killing me once wasn’t already enough?” Wilbur spits going in for another attack.

Phil fiercely shook his head. “You know that’s not true, Wil. I regretted it every day you were gone. It was the worst decision I’d made in my life.”

Wilbur laughed mockingly “Why would you ever regret that, Dad? Killing the villain after he blew his own nation to smithereens? You did exactly as you were supposed to!” 

Phil continued to dodge the blows as he fully processed the words coming out of Wilbur’s mouth. He knew his son believed himself to be irredeemable at the time of his demise, but to hear the words reiterated were like knives to Phil’s heart. “You are not a villain Wilbur. You’re a human being who went down the wrong path. You deserved to be treated with patience and love just as much as any of us, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t show you that.” 

Instead of reassuring Wilbur, the words do the opposite as he begins to attack his father with more force. He screams “I ruined it, Phil! I ruined L’manburg, and I blew it up! Why would you ever think I deserved to live after what I did?!”

_ “Dad, it’s ruined! I ruined it!” Wilbur cried. He clutched the broken instrument in his arms tighter as if he could physically will it back together. _

_ “Let me see.” Phil held out his arms as his son passed his guitar over. It was Wilbur’s first guitar. A gift from Phil on the boy’s 7th birthday. Phil examined the guitar with careful eyes before noticing the issue. The string had broken.  _

_ Phil hummed before looking back up at Wilbur. “The B string snapped.” _

_ Before he could continue, Wilbur burst into tears once more as he continued “I ruined it, Dad! It was my first guitar, and because I was stupid I broke it. Now it’s ruined forever!” _

_ Phil quickly set the broken guitar aside and consoled his son. Wrapping Wilbur in his arms and wings he shushed the boy, “It’s okay, son. It’ll all be okay. It’s not ruined. We can fix it, and you can play your songs again. Don’t worry. We’ll fix it.”  _

_ “I don’t want to play the guitar anymore. I broke it, so I shouldn’t play it. What if I break it again?” Wilbur weakly spoke into his Dad’s shoulder. _

_ Hearing the words broke Phil’s heart. He clutched his son tighter to his chest as he whispered “Oh, Wilbur. Never think such a thing. Guitar makes you happy right?” At Wilbur’s nod, he continued “Then mend the string and keep playing. You are not the mistakes you make. You are my son, and you deserve to be happy. Even when you mess up, I’ll be there to help you, okay?”  _

_ Feeling Wilbur nod once more into his chest, Phil pulled back from the hug and thumbed the tears on his son’s cheek. When the boy had calmed down enough, Phil asks “Are you ready to fix the string now?” He laughs as Wilbur nods enthusiastically and reaches for the guitar. _

Phil quickly brings his blade up to block Wilbur’s sword. He strains under the force of the blade as Wilbur only presses down harder. “You were never L’manburg! You were my son!” he grits out pushing back against Wilbur.

Wilbur stumbled back and for the first time since he first confronted his father is dead silent. He quickly schools his expression, but not before Phil catches the look of shock written across his features. Sensing this might be his only chance to get through to his son, Phil slowly lowers his sword and steps forward.

“You  _ are _ my son. You have always been my son. My amazing son. I never cared for L’manburg, I cared for you. I entered that button room not to stop you from destroying some property but from destroying yourself, and I failed. I’m sorry, Wilbur. I killed you because I thought it was what you wanted, but even still it was the biggest mistake of my life. I understand if you are angry with me. I fully deserve it, but I want you to know how much I love you. There is nothing you can do in this entire world to change that fact.”

_ “You’re my son” Phil screams at Wilbur across the button room. His fingers curl tighter into the hilt of the sword. “There is nothing you could do that could make me…” his voice falls short as he fully grasps the situation at hand. His son has asked him to kill him. _

Phil steps even closer to Wilbur and grips his arms as if he could mend the boy if he willed it enough. “Please, Wilbur,” he pleaded before pulling his son fully into his arms.

_ Phil pulled his son into his arms as he plunged the blade deep within Wilbur’s chest. Clutching the boy tight, he sobbed as he realized what he had done. It was too late, though as the blade slid home. “I’m so sorry…” he whispered. _

Phil felt more than saw the blade go into his chest. There was no pain as he slumped against his son’s chest. He had his son in his arms.

_ As Phil lowered his boy to the ground, he wailed as he watched the light drain from his son’s eyes. The manic smile lowering to that of a man at peace. He didn’t mean to. He doesn’t know why he did it. He shouldn’t have done it. _

Wilbur lowered his father’s body to the ground as he began to sob. He didn’t mean to. He doesn’t know why he did it. He shouldn’t have done it. He watched as his father stared hazily up at him. Phil’s hand weakly raises to reach Wil’s cheek, and the boy holds it tightly to his face.

_ “Please don’t go. Wilbur. I’m not ready yet. Please. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” _

The tears fall freely as Wilbur chokes “Dad. Please don’t go. I’m not ready yet. You can’t go. I’m sorry. I love you. I’m so sorry. Please stay. I regret it.” Wilbur’s hand trembles more than Phil’s as Phil slowly pulls Wilbur’s head to rest against his chest careful not to jostle the blade. 

_ Phil rests his head against his dead son’s chest in search of a melody that will never again play. Even though he knows that only he will be able to hear, he still whispers- _

“Goodbye, my son. I’m so sorry that we must part like this, but Dad is here now. I'm sorry I can't protect you anymore, but it'll be okay. I love you so much and I'm so proud of you.”


End file.
